The sad dearth of truly porny Torchwood stories
Since I've been watching Dr. Who eps (happily! oh, so happily!), it's brought Torchwood back to mind, and I've got a serious hankering for some dirty, dirty, porntastic Jack/Ianto. Or honestly, anybodyonTorchwood/anybodyonTorchwood as long as it's seriously hot. But sadly, there seems to be no real Torchwood porn. Or at least, very little. Which really is a shame, because when have characters ever cried out for it more? I mean, Jack Harkness IS porn. I continue my search, but I am not very optimistic.
In the meantime, I'm nursing a little Torchwood scenario in my head, cobbled together with pieces from other shows or stories I've read or what have you. The scenario starts out with Ianto feeling like he needs to move beyond having consolation sex with Jack, because it's keeping him mired in his grief for Lisa. So he goes to a pub, one where he's never really hung out before, and he has the idea that he'll smile at women, see what happens, but it's a man who captures his attention. He's impeccably dressed, with an out-of-place air of formality, a certain timelessness, and it reminds Ianto of Jack, which he tries not to admit to himslf. They talk and have a drink together and maybe dance, and Ianto leaves with the mysterious stranger, who says he has a room nearby. Jack has already called at least once during Ianto's night out, and as Ianto and his companion get where they're going, Jack shows up, frantically shouting at Ianto not to go inside. But Ianto, so desperate to get away from Torchwood, from guilt over Lisa, for even just a little while, doesn't listen.
Inside, it's as if he's stepped into another time, back into nineteenth century London, to a gentleman's club, one which caters to very distinct tastes. I imagine the place like the hotel described in one of my favorite Master & Commander fan fic stories, a secret hideaway for London's well-heeled gay men. The formally dressed guy calmly explains where they are to Ianto and what's expected of him, that he is there to entertain the guests.
Ianto is sent to change into more suitable attire, although I honestly haven't figure out what that is yet, and then he's assigned to give blowjobs. And there are some scenes of that. He doesn't really fight it, because that's what he's learned from his experience with Lisa, the terrible inevitability of things. There's almost something comforting about being used, because it's in no way personal, and while he's doing it, he feels like no one at all.
The "entertainers" are auctioned off to spend the night with the highest bidding patron. When it's Ianto's turn, there's considerable interest, since he's new. The bidding goes higher and higher, and then suddenly Jack is there, and he wins, and the man who kidnapped Ianto is not pleased, but he doesn't try to stop Jack.
Jack takes Ianto upstairs to the room he's hired for the night, and gives Ianto a grave look as he asks if he's okay and what they did to him. Ianto brushes off his questions, and instead, asks Jack where he thinks they are and how they get home. Jack grins wryly and says he has no idea.
Blah, blah, transitioncakes, and then Ianto says that Jack won him and he should take his prize. There's awkwardness and hesitation, and then they have desperate, scorching sex.
The next day, Jack pays for Ianto to be his companion for the day and evening, and they get down to detecting. Jack has a theory that he tests, doing bizarre, unexpected things, and no matter what the provocation, there's never any reaction. He concludes that they may be in an artificial environment that runs along certain assumptions, and if something deviates from that, the program can't adapt to handle it. Ianto wonders if they do enough unexpected things if maybe they can crash the program entirely, and they get busy getting wacky. And maybe this works, or maybe it doesn't. My vision of what happens gets kind of fuzzy in the non-sex portions of the story. I do like the idea that after they spend all day doing the unexpected they go back to their room, and Jack gets Ianto to fuck him for a change, and says something about upsetting expectations, because Ianto has had a certain view of their relationship (Jack's the boss, and Jack's the top, and Jack sleeping with him is more about consolation than desire), and Jack is showing him now that this isn't the way it has to be.
Then the story gets really fuzzy. Maybe they find some other door, and this one leads to a room that looks like a lab full of people all in suspended animation, wired into a computer that runs these virtual reality scenarios. Perhaps the kidnapper shows up and there's a big exposition scene where he explains that his people grew so advanced or ruined their planet or developed medicine that would indefinitely extend their life, something that made them want to retreat from their lives. And now they all live in these playrooms, the technology giving them a physical presence in there, and only the Keeper is awake, to go through the rift and bring back outsiders to participate in the scenarios, to take on the roles no one else wants to play and keep a sense of novelty. I'm pretty sure I'm stealing this from an episode of Star Trek Voyager. Anyhoo, the Keeper probably tries to kill Jack and Ianto, and I'm guessing that Jack smashes the virtual reality computer, because he can't have the Keeper spiriting away innocent people and forcing them to take part in their fun and games. Blah, blah, blah plotcakes.
Jack and Ianto ultimately return home safely, and the end wraps up with Ianto coming to the realization that Jack is not forever, but Jack is right now, and it's okay to let himself have and enjoy that.